Feel Your Confidence Soar....Knowing What To Do With Problems That Worry You...
...You just got a call from your son’s teacher. He’s failing math. You had no idea. Now you know exactly what to do to help your son feel motivated and succeed...
...You got home very late from work. Your daughter was not there...again. She said she would make dinner. She knew you had to work late....finally you know how to handle this and that you both get to feel good...
Think Of Your Relief....Knowing How To Solve Problems that Break Your Heart...
...Your teen won’t do anything you say. Are these familiar answers: “O.K........Fine!” “Yeah........Right!” “Whatever!” “I don’t care what you say. I’m gonna do whatever I want, and you can’t stop me!” ...At last you know how to help him change his attitude from rebellious to cooperative...
...Have you ever heard this from your teen: “All of my friends get to go! You just want to ruin my life! I hate you! You just don’t want me to have any fun! I hate my life! I just want to die.”
...Don't you feel filled with confidence, knowing that you can help your daughter move from feeling miserable to feeling wonderful, without changing your mind...
Imagine....Eliminating Problems that Destroy Your Family...
“Get out of my way! I’m going. I'm taking the car and you can’t stop me, and you’d better not try!” ...Imagine...being able to change anger, agression, definace to understanding, cooperation and respectful interaction...
Enjoy The Glorious Feeling Of Knowing....Now You Can Dissolve Those Problems That Eat You And Your Troubled Teen Alive...
...............the Power of RespectSM brings you all this and more.........
Saving Our Troubled Teens
November 1, 2006 The Power of Love
I was recently privileged to witness the power of the love a parent has for a teen and the teen has for the parent. There has been a lot of trouble between the parent and teen in this particular family: fighting, misunderstandings, miscommunications and lack of communication, mutual mistrust, even involving police twice.
One day the misunderstandings and misinterpretations led to a runaway situation and police intervention. The parent was on the verge of turning the teen over to a group home. Fortunately the power of the love the parent has for the teen intervened. The parent broke down and realized his responsibility in helping create this situation. It was the power of love that made him determined to change his ways, that made him determined to keep the teen in the family.
It was also the power of the love that the teen has for the parent that brought about such instant forgiveness for so much hurting. The teen was also aware that the extreme behavior was instrumental in bringing these changes about.
It is the power of love that makes it possible for healing to take place. It is the power of respect that helps that healing take place. It gives the people involved specific actions to take to help that healing happen instead of just replaying the same old hurtful patterns of interaction.
Hooray for the power of love! Hooray for the power of respect!
August 20, 2006 The Power of Respect is a Path to Peace
The Power of Respect is a path to peace in the family. Imagine peace in your family. When needs or desires seem to conflict, the people involved know how to explain their needs, define the problem as they see it, and negotiate for mutually acceptable solutions.
Amy wants to borrow her Mom's velvet vest for a party. She asks her Mom if she can borrow it for the party. Her Mom does not feel comfortable lending it to her, and lets her daughter know.
Then Amy explains why she wants to borrow that vest, and her Mom explains why she is concerned about lending it. Amy says it will be perfect with the outfit she chosen, but her Mom says that that vest was given to her a long time ago and she could never replace it if anything happened.
There are many possible mutually satisfying solutions: Amy chooses another outfit; her Mom agrees to take her shopping for a vest, or a new outfit for the party; Mom helps Amy find another vest that goes with her chosen outfit....
The important thing is that they are both satisfied with the chosen solution. Knowing that no solution will be accepted unless all involved agree is part of the power for peace.
August 17, 2006 No Need to Punish
When you use the Power of Respect, there is no need for punishment. You learn how to negotiate, and so does your teen and any other family members. You all negotiate to get what you need. Everyone gets to have their needs met, not just one person, everyone. Everyone is important. Everyone's needs are important. No solution is final unless everyone agrees to it.
When you use the Power of Respect you discuss and define the problem so that everyone is clear. Then you work together to find a mutually agreeable solution. After implementing the solution you keep in touch to make sure it is working.
August 16, 2006 How It Could Be Wonderful!
I have decided that starting now this blog is going to focus on visions of how it could be. I will choose a particular topic: a situation between parents and teens and how it could be wonderful! This is to help parents and teens envision how they would like their relationship to be, in detail. This is to help them create their relationships the way they want them to be.
If you would like to suggest a situation, please contact me at: karen.ryce@besthelpfortroubledteens.com
August 5, 2006 An Unkept Agreement
The daughter of a friend did not keep an agreement she had with her parents. Her father said that because of this she could not celebrate her birthday with a party that she had been planning for weeks. This had not been agreed upon before. She flipped out and and so did he. It turned into an unhappy situation for everyone.
How could they have changed all of this around? How could they have prevented so much unhappiness?
It would have been better if the agreement, and the consequences of not keeping the agreement, had been agreed upon when the agreement was set up. Since this was not set up, it would have been better for them to sit down together and discuss the situation.
They could each define the situation as they see it. They could each say what they think should be done about the situation. They could have worked out a solution that they both could have lived with and agreed with. It makes it much happier for everyone. Maybe next time.
August 3, 2006 What About Respect?
I realized just as I posted my last blog, that I had not included 'respect' in the list of good feelings. It does feel good to give respect and to receive it. I guess it encouraged me to focus on this because I forgot it before.
After several years as a young mother and a Montessori teacher, I decided that respect was one of the most important gifts I could give to my own child or the children I worked with. When I gave respect, the child gave it back. When I gave respect, the child trusted me to treat them in ways that felt good to them. They also learned by watching me how to be respectful.
The longest it took any child to give back the respect I gave them was six months. I was continually respectful to this one child for six months. He basically avoided me for six months. Then one day he began approaching me. We had a wonderful, trusting, comfortable, respectful relationship.
Usually children begin to return the respect much, much sooner, even instantly. Even the middle school students I taught for years easily gave back the respect I extended to them.
If you want the love you feel for your teen to reach them, you must be respectful. If you are not respectful, even if you feel that you love your teen, they do not feel that you love them. I'm sure you do not want that.
July 27, 2006 Saving Our Troubled Teens
Imagine your troubled teen coming to you respectfully so that you could help with the troubles.
Imagine going to your parents so that they can help you with your troubles respectfully, with compassion, understanding and kindness.
I am here to help this happen. It is my joy and my passion. I have been doing this work for more than 35 years. I am not called The Miracle Worker of Parenting and Education for nothing. You can create miracles in your life. I can help.
Think of all of the good feelings: loving and being loved, happiness, enjoyment, peace, kindness, helpfulness, trusting and being trusted, fun and silliness, laughter, power, self-esteem, satisfaction, success, caring, compassion, understanding, courage, fearlessness, enthusiasm, confidence, self-confidence, strength, friendliness, hope, excitement, appreciating and being appreciated, creativity, delight, joy..........
Imagine: Your life can be filled with all of these wonderful feelings. You can make it happen. I can help.
